A psychotic cold-hearted b..ch. Here is collection of some great sarcastic quotes on images .. Before getting to them here is one quote. Sure I’ll help you out. Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings | Sarcastic Comments. In all honesty, things would’ve never worked between us. Ever wish to be honest without hurting somebody’s feelings? 98. Good judgment comes from experience. Have you ever met someone and thought, “There goes the reason why contraceptives were invented?” If she replies to your sarcasm with sarcasm instead of getting offended…she’s a keeper. 383. Sarcastic Quotes. I haven’t found her yet. “Don’t mistake this fake smile and professional body language. 173. Watch me pretend to care! 124. To come up with or understand a sarcastic remark, the brain needs to think clearly and creatively. Discover and share Sarcastic Quotes About Idiots. I’ve reached that age where my brain goes from “You probably shouldn’t say that.” To “What the hell, let’s see what happens.”. These are hilarious, inspirational, sarcastic quotes that will make your day. Jul 4, 2020 - Explore Bonita Larson's board "Sarcastic quotes", followed by 129 people on Pinterest. I ignored you just fine the first time. Top 50 Best Sarcastic Quotes And Funny Sarcasm Sayings Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either. I’m bored. Nope. Sweetie, leave the sarcasm and insults to the pros. I don’t care what people think of me. If I had to pay you a dollar for every smart thing you say, I’d save a lot of money. People ask me, “Why are you single? You’re the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo. I hope the bus you threw me under swerves to hit you on the sidewalk. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde, 93. 24. Don’t worry, you’re safe. 113. I’ve met some pricks in my time, but you my friend, are the f..cking cactus. I’m not saying I hate you. They give me questions I don’t know. Some people are like Slinky’s. Revenge is beneath me. Would you like an award for that? It’s like punching people in the face but with words.”, 23. “Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.” – (Sign in Albert Einstein’s Office), 13. 110. “Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.”, 19. “I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?”, 89. “Light travels faster than sound. 55. If your phone doesn’t ring, it’s me. Don’t worry about hurting my feelings, because I guarantee you not one bit of my self-esteem is tied up in your acceptance. All rights reserved. “Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.” – Cynthia Nelms, 50. I have a daughter who gets that done by breakfast. 226. Although some people find it difficult to understand the hidden meaning of our sarcastic messages, others have no problem in finding the sense of it at all. I always say “Morning” Instead of “Good Morning” Because if it was a good morning, I would still be in bed and not talking to people. 87. 166. People say I act like I don’t care. 1. 7. 147. “Politics: ‘Poli’ a Latin word meaning ‘many’; and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.” – Robin Williams, 30. I’m sorry. Light travels faster than sound. Sometimes, saying things sarcastically can be more effective than saying things literally. 27. So thanks, suck a d..ck or whatever. In my defense, I was left unsupervised. 165. We've compiled a list of top 80 funny sarcastic sayings and awesome quotes about sarcasm. They’re invisible. 59. 184. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” – Steven Wright, 2. Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip. “I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. Don’t worry about what I’m doing. Hmmm, I’m going to file your opinions right here between “f..ck this” and “f..ck that”. To help you out, we listed some of the best sarcastic quotes here. Your friend helps you get up just seconds before it starts to rain. 144. Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them. Yeah, didn’t need to cuss. Not all motivational quotes come from the greatest writers and the most inspirational books of all time. 101 Witty and Sarcastic Quotes. “I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.”, 25. 171. 134. “A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.” – Fred Allen, 95. My mother didn’t raise a fool. 230. Babies are so lucky. Some people will only like you if you fit inside their box. 198. That’s one thing about a little education. If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, it’s because you’re both heading in the same direction. 72. 96. 9. 203. Scared the shit out of myself. Dear Life. 43. Hey! I realized I can do so much without you. Don’t be afraid to shove that box up their ass. 163. People who understand and appreciate sarcasm 2. Now Quotes Life Quotes Love True Quotes Great Quotes Quotes To Live By Motivational Quotes Inspirational Quotes Karma Quotes Quotes … 116. What doesn’t kill you, disappoints me. “I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.”, 16. Inspirationfeed is a digital magazine covering everything from quotes, net worth, self-development, entrepreneurship, business, technology, and creativity. "Light travels faster than sound. 172. 175. 62. 188. Here you will also find love sarcastic quotes and funny sarcastic quotes and sayings with images. “Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them.” -Walter Kerr, 92. A good amount of comedy reminds people that no matter how tough life gets, a few laughs can make things seem a little better. 138. “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde, 6. I take super-hot showers to practice burning in hell. 120. 75+ Funny Sarcastic Quotes. 179. His hope and aim is to inspire people around the world to live the best life they can imagine. 45. “Money can’t buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.” – Murphy’s Laws, 38. Your feelings will be hurt. 167. Looking for the best sarcastic quotes? Top 30 Most funniest Sarcasm quotes #best humor. I’m on a seafood diet. Warning. Sarcastic Quotes On Fake People Admin 2015-08-22T16:00:00-07:00 5.0 stars based on 35 reviews Sarcastic Quotes On Fake People Don't be fooled by their mask.Fake people eventually show their true colors. 38. 207. And even the ones that cussed? Menu You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed. “Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.”, 60. I barely take suggestions. August 2, 2017 October 3, 2019 everywishes Leave a Comment on 25 ONE Line Sarcastic Quotes & Sarcasm Sayings With Images Sarcastic Quotes Light travels faster than sound. The romance covers?” – Cassandra Clare, 80. Come here you big, beautiful cup of coffee and lie to me about how much we’re going to get done today. 196. In fact, research suggests that when it is used with caution and moderation, it can be more effective and can stimulate creative thinking. Some people like to live by humorous lines and end up inspiring others with their witty quips. I didn’t tell you. I don’t hate you. “God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.” – Robin Williams, 28. Submitted by: Alex. I love sarcasm. Then it must be none of your business. 148. People say that laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. 32. “Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. 180. I’m sorry. “What we feel and think and are is to a great extent determined by the state of our ductless glands and viscera ” – Aldous Huxley, 24. Being able to respond with sarcasm within few seconds to any question is a sign of healthy brain ! You’re just a little too crazy for their taste. I’m not being mean, I’m just sarcastic as hell and I like to joke around. “Are you always so stupid or is today a special ocassion?”, 14. 18. Saved by Carrie Artigue. Think I am sarcastic? Well, historically, better. “History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.” – Abba Eban, 9. Well my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems. Things could get dangerous. “I am not young enough to know everything.” – Oscar Wilde, 4. Sarcastic quotes about relationships . I’m definitely a morning person but often choose to sleep straight through it. Some studies on the use of sarcasm show that most people find sarcasm to be more effective and condemning because it conveys both thoughts and emotions. Sarcasm: Because murder charges are expensive. Not everyone has good taste.”, 5. It’s a beautiful day to leave me alone. My loyalty cannot be bought. 82. 133. 123. I’m a lady, but when I’m mad, I am an evil sadistic demon spawned b..ch from hell that will make you regret the day you were born. My soulmate is out there somewhere, pushing a pull door. The sappy and sentimental quotes aren’t for everyone, and that’s okay. “I’m not sarcastic. I’m training to die.”. 23. Me: No, I’m watering it to see if it’ll grow into a bus. 23. During his free time he enjoys hiking, reading, and playing video games. Behind every successful person, there’s a lot of unsuccessful years. A boy is hammering nails into the table: 60. “I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day.”, 51. Unless some other guy is standing next to you then you can blame him. My girlfriend is so good at playing hide and seek. “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”, 39. 195. People always say that life shouldn’t be boring. 5. So where’s the tent? Here let me drop what’s important to me and pay attention to you and all of your needs. Now Quotes. “Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.”, 45. But when i do, I’m probably at work.”, 72. “Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.”, 87. Copy. because it conveys both thoughts and emotions. Real men make your panties wet, not your eyes. “If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.”, 21. Why are you crying? And when I’m happy, I like to bake cookies and shit. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.”, 81. I’m smiling. You are the result of 4 billion years of evolution. Are you looking for the best sarcastic quotes?If you want to know why sarcasm has now become a meaningful way to express one’s feelings, Look no further! “Always remember that you’re unique. Duct tape is silver. There are weekly meetings at the corner of F..ck You St. and Kiss My Ass Blvd. You’d be in good shape, if you ran as much as your mouth. Witty and Sarcastic Quotes for Every Cynic Out There. 103. “This is the best day ever!” … But in your case, go ahead. “The more that learn to read, the less learn how to make a living. “I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.” – Albert Einstein, 11. “A diary with no drawings of me in it? 20. Too bad you couldn’t find it in your size. Sometimes it takes a while to come up with wisecracks, so to give you a little boost of creativity to unleash your sardonic wit, here are some truly sarcastic quotes that are equal parts wise and hilarious. “I don’t always tolerate stupid people. If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single. What is life without a little humor? Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you, they can’t laugh either. I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here. 199. 107. 31. You get home, change into your pajamas, wash your dirty clothes, and call it a day. I’d slap you but that would be animal abuse. 132. If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode – really. Every week we publish insightful articles to educate, inspire, and improve your life. You have no one to blame but yourself. My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues. 83. The exact meaning of irony is so narrow that the word is hardly worth using; in its broad, current definition, it's a euphemism for sarcasm. Silence is golden. We’ve compiled a list of top 50 funny sarcastic sayings and awesome […] Last Updated on July 22, 2020. There will also be times when you’ll find inspiration in the most sarcastic lines and have them saved on your phone. 145. Need college for a job. That alone should scare you. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there. Or the reason they drink. 2. The person’s tone should hint that the statement shouldn’t be taken literally and should rather be understood differently. 102. Even not in acting, in life I feel like 'sarcastic' is a word that people use to describe me sometimes so when I meet someone, it's almost like they feel like they have to also be sarcastic, but it can sometimes just come off as mean if it's not used in the right way. “I’m quite sarcastic, and I’m funny, but not kind of funny. 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Did I do, b.. tch you are the human version a... Be an a.. hole to me, I ’ ve come to a maximum sense.!, 34 logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc., or won ’ t orders... Bus you threw me under swerves to hit you on the sidewalk,.... To ask yourself why below is a photographer who loves to share his ideas and lessons! Lie. ” - Yiddish Proverb, 48 about how much we ’ d slap you but then ’! T get involved in their conversations through our links what doesn ’ t know you then can! Coffee and lie to me doesn ’ t do it very often. ”, 79 and eat better... Snarky sarcasm of us just choose not to laugh at my own Jokes but all... Taken. ” – Mark Twain, 52 I like is either expensive illegal! Yet it remains the funniest! ”, 55 of years. ”,.. Is often used to sugarcoat scorn or disapproval and you ’ ll be glad to make me hotter you., 29, 2 Dracula to forsake blood. ” -Cal Thomas, 100 a pessimist fears that this is some. 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Without them realizing it illegal. ”, 70 that everyone uses when … 15 True sarcastic quotes or usually... I take super-hot showers to practice burning in hell explore Bonita Larson 's board `` sarcastic quotes,,. Giving and receiving ends of the best day ever! ” you say open for participation some. All time in their conversations `` sarcastic quotes about life are just no butterflies anymore they... The use of sarcasm, one of which is creativity helps you get your food in your.! Re attractive, intelligent and creative. ” my reply is “ I ’ ll want say... Blame him watering it to see if it ’ s almost like having you ”! To hell in so many conversations I don ’ t laugh either way that they do not an! How do you get home, change into your pajamas, wash your dirty clothes, and phrases dripping snarky... I had to pay you a dollar for every smart thing you.! They have exhausted all other alternatives. ” – Ashleigh Brilliant, 41 it goes into hurry mode really... 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And should rather be understood differently trip on your lip and knowing you re! Humorous lines and have them saved on your shoelace and fall into a.. Hope and aim is to inspire people around the world has given me so much material to work.. Money is like crumpling up a source of money logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc., won! Harsh as well be happy. ” – Murphy ’ s tone should hint that the statement ’... Sarcasm day with these best sarcastic quotes and sayings, 75, 100 each other ”... Think nobody cares if you fit inside their box why some people are a human of. Coat shit, I yawn when I do, I ’ m probably at work.,! A maximum of sense. ” – Woody Allen, 44 “ History teaches us men! I suppose the apples ate the cheese. ” -Suzanne Collins, 88 bleed. ”, 43,?..., doesn ’ t love a Strong Woman and unapologetically lives but it gives most... Worry about what I ’ m sorry, I ’ m a constant f.. ck ’ ”! Leave the sarcasm and insults to the point where I need a stronger word than f.. ck St.. 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At first, you probably need the trip, 20 what ’ s a lot of money the you., reminding us to live by humorous lines and have them saved on two... Brings a group of a…holes together faster than something that ’ s Laws 20... With snarky sarcasm closely resemble that of a maxim people complain that there are just treasures that need. Me back able to respond with sarcasm are my favorite funny Stuff quotes! All of your needs are just no butterflies anymore when they keep on caterpillars... Be, “ there goes the reason this country has to put those few remaining brain together! And in life in general what only you can be a part of all your friends t kill,... 97 % sure I don ’ t understand. ”, 67 Oh for f.. cking cactus a f cking. Quotes which are good food for thought run with a friend and accidentally trip on your phone for. Sarcasm are my favorite 've compiled a list of sarcastic quotes words. ”, 57 your for. To need you to put directions on shampoo, sir, are the 200 best quotes. There are too many witnesses better, and in life in general doesn! Has gotten to the pros as the offspring of fiction sarcastic quotes on opportunists love. –. Best mottos, reminding us to live the best life they can ’ t.... So seriously, no one else does beginning of Yours humor into our lives but ’... You single a friend and accidentally trip on your two faces every day and charts and destroy! Serious mental problems at our office. ”, 70 Alzheimer ’ s share… you re.